... it's about keeping him.
And so it goes.
The question among my group of strong independent single ladies is as follows: "In this day and age, how does a woman who has everything make a man feel necessary?" Furthermore, "Once you have said man, how do you keep his interest long enough to lock in monogamy and long-term commitment?" In cities across America women who have substantial careers are having a harder time snagging a worthy suitor. Vegas, New York, LA, same situation. We find a guy we like, work at it for weeks or even months… only to keep the relationship going for less than a year.
What makes them run? We have concluded the answer to be unbending self-sufficiency. Men need to be needed. When a woman is too independent and doesn't come running at the drop of a hat men loose interest. They claim to want the non-needy, calm and collected female. However they chase the "bug-a-boo", constantly starting fights with them female. Some may call it a fiery relationship... I call it utter madness.
Just the other day, a girlfriend of mine told me about a man she was dating. They saw each other for 3 weeks consistently. She wasn't seeing other people, he was honest enough to admit that he was. He tells my friend that he has the best time with her, that she's easy to talk to, and is so sexually appealing to him. My friend put the reins in his hands and told him that she wasn’t going to continue to date him if there was someone else involved. She backed off and let him choose. When it came down to the choice of either girl, although he spoke so highly of my friend, he chose to be with the other girl.
Why you ask?
A. He could've just been lying about his feelings towards her.
B. (As we came to find out) The other girl was a stage 3 clinger.
Each time he had problems with his crazy girlfriend he would run to the comfort my friend. Each time... no matter how bad the situation had escalated to, he would go back to the ex-girlfriend. It's almost like he craved the tumultuous relationship; uncertain at each corner.
So back to the questions. Where do we draw the line (and the ego) and start acting like these girls that command the attention of men? I say we don’t. I still believe that there are still some strong men out here that respect the hustle of an independent woman. I also believe that we need to start cutting these men off quickly as soon as we realize it’s not working out. Second chances are for friends and family, NOT relationships. As intelligent women we should not alter the fibers of our core to adjust to the mold of what a man wants.
As my mother says, “there are plenty of fish in the sea.”
Apparently we just have to keep throwing them back once caught until we find the right one.
(**As featured on www.simplyandreea.com)