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Hotline Bling

February 17, 2018

More discussions with friends, male friends at that, are leading me to lose hope for our generation. Relationships are no longer a priority. Self satisfaction and capitalistic endeavors are taking precedence over everything. Why is that? We have concluded over several conversations that our society is to blame for our constant greed. Unfortunately it has been proven that some of the happiest people in the world value people and experiences over monetary, materialistic things. Yet here we slave away because it is a necessity. And where has the need for companionship gone? Well too many options of course! Why have one person in your life when something better may be around the corner. Only problem with this is that once you break through the façade a new person is presenting you, they may not be a genuine person. Then you're back at square one. But why is it so easy to walk away from someone you are committed to at the first sign of trouble? Perhaps I'm just too loyal of a spirit. We did surmise that our generation simply does not want to put in the effort. We are lazy. We already work so hard to make money and get the things we want, why add another workload to the mix?

We laughed last night about how many chances I've given some, throwing my own wishes out to accommodate theirs. And that's not fair either. Nothing should be forced. Nothing should be leapt in to. The very important question also came up: To protect one's self and one's time... How long do you causally date someone before committing to them? What all do you need to know to determine if it will work or not, prior to devoting yourself solely to that person? My friends stay guarded when dating, never giving too much of themselves emotionally to the girl. I strongly advised against that. When all is said and done, if it works out or not, being real and completely transparent is the only way to interact. Why play games and drag something out that could have ended sooner if you were both just honest?

At work we always talk about intrusive questions on the first date and early on in the relationship. But is that always a bad thing? The more you know early on should help to determine if it will be a waste of your time. At this age, we know what we want. We should generally know who we are and what our non-negotiables are. Speaking from experience, we know what will just not work in the long run. You can not change people or persuade them to do things your way. So why do we wait around for the inevitable fact that you will part ways anyway when they don't do what you want? Hope causes us to stay and wait around for a miracle. Unfortunately there is a fine line between losing all hope and just being realistic. I think we have yet to navigate that line.

I will keep having these talks with my male friends in attempts to give them some perspective. Bottom line, you have to be ready. To be ready, you have to be whole as a person prior to entering into any partnership. I myself have work to do, so I by no means am preaching to anyone. Just remember to be realistic and not waste anyone's time. Life is too short to not spend it with the ones who really mean something to you.


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